So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
