I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
