Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
