I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
