I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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