You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No subtext here. People are naked.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
