I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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