Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
