Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
