JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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