She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
