Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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