I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
