i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Can I color on your dick again?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
