Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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