speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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