So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
