She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
