but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I understand Curling. That high.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
