I don't remember. Are we still dating?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
