He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
