watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I sprained my soul last night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
