yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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