i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
