Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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