just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There r osticjed everywhere
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pants are for mortals
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
