i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
