You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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