Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im holly from the hills drunk
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
