what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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