She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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