i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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