after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and she was petting her beer can
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
