Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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