so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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