Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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