I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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