last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
