dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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