I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
