areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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