Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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