Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
