I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
