Got a toothbrush?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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