we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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