so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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