I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
