hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
