She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
